Where Do You Meet People After 50 (We're Trying t

Welcome to the Jeff Haddam Show. This is a beta version. I used to do the show on the radio, and now we're doing this thing called a podcast with the young kids call it a podcast. Yeah, I know what a podcast is. I was doing podcasts before podcasts was even the thing. So I just haven't done it because you know, people are late and stuff, you know, and it's eight o'clock and wait on people, and. I had a diet coke. I'm good. So anyways, we are in Blue Jay Recording Studios, and if you ever want to book and do your own podcast like this, go to blue Jaystudios dot com, hit us up, book some time and you can spend some time here in this beautiful studio and do your own podcast. How cool? Is that? Very cool? All right, So anyways, I'm introduce everybody over to my ride. You got Captain Dan O'Brien glad to be here. I know you're not. Yes, you're like, I'm playing like I've got it. My bedtime. I told you I got some caffeine. I'm awake now, I'm Good's my bedtime. I should be in my bed. And we have Jacqueline straight from New York. She pulled up and said, my car's not gonna get towed, is it. I'm like, it's not New York. This is Florida. You can park wherever you want to park. Yeah, okay, which one's the three shot? Jeff, I don't know. Leave me alone, Dan, come on, man, don't you have to go to sleep or something. No, I'm I'm The cameras are rolling. I'm good. I'm so. Anyways, I used to talk. I used to you know, this is like a free fra all basically because I used to talk about politics and you know, entertainment stuff, and I don't do politics anymore. So if you're watching this YouTube, its probably won't work on YouTube, because you know, YouTube's a funny thing. So, but we are going to talk about something that happened a couple of days ago on TikTok. I think I did one here in the studio, and I was like, oh, that's pretty cool asking you know people our age, you know, because I'm thirty five years old and it's very hard to meet people. I'm not all Are we all over fifty? Yeah? At least two of us are. Yeah, I see Jacqueline's part of the fifty Crew. Fifty crew, so. Just asking where did fifty something people meet? And you did the TikTok on the beach. That was the second one. The second one, second day, and that went kind of crazy, and then all those people just started reaching out and they said, why don't we doing He had an idea, Hea, let's do an event, and I got an event. Maybe I go, maybe a couple people will come, that'd be fun. And then slowly but surely it turned into like a I'll go, I'll go on my DMS. I didn't even like go on TikTok. I mean, I appreciate it, but I was just like, this is overwhelming. So I had to get off TikTok. And then I'm like thinking, like, I go, this is nuts. So many people reached out like what was what was the number? There were thirty six thousand interactions as far as messages and I don't know how many numbers, but thirty six thousand interactions. In the first video, I tried to respond to everybody, and then the second video, I was responding to people and then it just I go. I couldn't keep up. I was like, this is crazy. So and then I did a third one and said, hey, where here's we're going to do a meet up blah blah blah blah, and here's the details. Da da da, And then more people responded, and so I'm like thinking, I go, I can't, you know, keep track of everything on this thing. So I got to we got to come up with email. So I didn't do one the day, which I was suicide for TikTok. If you don't follow up the next day, the algorithm pushes up. So we did a video tonight just giving an email out. We did an email. We already got like eight emails that people say, hey, I'm interested. So at least now we know there's eight people we do this thing in September. They're going to show up. But I have no idea how we do this and meet people because everybody was you know women, you know women, They're asking all the questions like what are we going to eat? What should I wear? Is it ac is it going to be food? Is there a bathroom? I don't know. I don't know. It's usually up to them to take care of the important things. We're just the dumb animals, you know. That's right. I said, bring a pollock. I would not do a potluck and I hope no one watches this Jacqueline. You you you saw the first TikTok? Is that how you knew Jeff? Or you are? No? No, no. I talked to him about the podcast before we were talking. I mentioned it to him and I said. You know you're talking to Mike. You gotta bring that Mike clones. No way, you can't hear me. Well, I can hear you. People, we can hear yeah. So yeah, so we started talking because of Facebook dating right, No, no. Of course not Facebook. Yeah, okay, And then the more we talked about it, like we started talking, I mentioned one day, I'm like, we should do a podcast, like I've been wanting to do a podcast and talk about these dating app because it's like unreal the people you meet out there, unreal. Unreal, right, and so here we said, but you know, and Dan's defence, Dan's been pushing me to do this for a long time. Yeah, He's like, we get what's good in here? I just hear record. What are you up? Do you call me the P word? A P word? And I'm like, no, yeah, I just whenever we work together, he Jeff does the reels for me, the mortgage stuff and when we just sit here and talk back and forth, we're always cracking each other up. So I'm like, why don't you just let the camera run? We don't. I mean, it's probably going to be funny to somebody, it's funny to us. I think it's going to be funny to more people. So you think you don't even need a topic, but like, here's the perfect topic, because like you said, you know, there were so there were thousands of interactions, and all these people are like, yeah, we don't. You know, where do you meet folks? Where do we Where do you meet somebody? We're tired of dating apps, We're tired of bars, We're tired of you know, I think a lot of people over fifty, maybe even over forty, I think a lot of people have just like given up. Yeah, I mean like we're not I'm not even gonna try anymore. And I was I was like that, like I'm I'm just if something organic happens, maybe I'll meet a lady at public. So I mean, so you know how many people said that in the comments, like hey, I want to try publics and like duh, how many times I go to publics? But every time I go to publics, there's screaming kids and a mom and hold a baby. I like, like my publics has well publics, all these swinging ladies there. You know, I don't have time to look at nobody in public. I got lots of beautiful women in the grocery store. But I'm like, they're gonna think I'm a creep if I approach him. Like I'm married. Yeah, what do you think? No? No, what do you say? No, yeah, I'm married. Whatever approached you at a store, grocery store or anything like total stranger. For me, it would be like a little awkward. And especially like when my daughter like she they're chasing her looking at her and she's like, oh my god, Mom Like ugh, you know, so I think Publix is not a place, not for me. No, And I've noticed over you. And that's why I wanted a woman perspective here tonight, because I don't want to feel like, you know, because I God knows and TikTok comments. I heard a lot a lot of I don't say it was mel bashing, but just like, well these guys you know, da da da da da, And I'm like, well that goes both ways. I mean, I stopped talking to people a long time ago. It's all because it's you run into a wall with these people, especially the attitude. It's like, okay, they because they have attitude and they expect you to chase them all around and stuff. I was like, no, you know, I just asked you a question, like, you know, hey, with it. I don't want to talk. I'm married, married just like I don't. I don't. That's why I don't talk to people anymore. But but how married and we don't want to come on? Okay? He was worried I was gonna start getting funny. It's just that's on you, Jeff. It's just a joke. I know that's on you though. I was like, okay, here we go. Yeah it was a joke. Yeah. No, I think a lot of people have just kind of given up. You guys mentioned Facebook dating, like, I uh, I'm not even on the apps or anything I have. I never had any luck on any of the dating apps. Anybody that I was interested in was definitely not interested in me. And that's always been the story. Because people on those apps they have stupid I don't know, like they live in a different world with this stuff. They bios the whole line, and I started going through it, and it's like, I think, probably I should have did in my life. I should have went to school to have been a counselor, because I I've been in so much counseling that I know I can just read and I'm very discerning too about people. I can like know the mement. I meet somebody, I'm like, okay, Pa, well this this and this and this, and that's why I know so much about Dan, Like I know what's going on with Dan right now, but I'm not going to share it. Jesus. It's just like, you know, I'm kidding. So, yeah, I brought you out here for an intervention with anybody. Guess you're having an intervention. In the bios, these women they have all these expectations and you could read between the lines because they say like something like I don't tolerate when it starts off, I don't tolerate this, blah blah blah blah. And they start putting rules and regulations in their bio what they're looking for. I'm like, wow, not healed up. They're wounded, and most people on these dates are still wounded. Everybody's wounded, every single one. I feel like in the dating world, there was that's the whole reason they're in there. Well, everybody has a h everybody's gone through something, but there is a parameter that you people should sign up to be on dating apps because a lot of them are just not ready. And I was one of them. I did it for years. I just meet people and getting relationships and just go nuts. And then I realized when my life bottom fell out in twenty twenty two, I was like, I can't do this anymore, you know, I have to make angels. I have to like focus on myself. And that's why the last three or four years I haven't. I've been like what. I talked with someone long distance for two years and we didn't even hold hands kiss, And then I talked to another gal. She came down for a couple of days or something, but I kind of found out stuff about her. I was like, Wow, she gets around or whatever. You know, she's pretty busy, and I don't like that. It's like, yeah, you know, so I just kind of threw my hands up. Now. I did have some cop I met with women two times for coffee through Facebook dating. I think it was like twenty twenty three, and I just wanted to see if they can handle what I had been through. It wasn't about like I wanted to, you know, date them or whatever, and I just wanted to see if I could get through, like, hey, can you accept the person that's done all this because I was still working on myself forgiving myself. And most of them are like, yeah, yeah, that's nothing, you know, blah blah blah. I'm like, oh, that's great. So I was like, Okay, this is this works. But then again, I still I feel like I still picked the wrong ones because I wasted two years of her friendship. I was like, man, I really dig this person, you know, and she's just unavailable, unavailable, not moving, just stuck, you know, and it wasn't gonna happen anytime soon. Lives in Texas and said this this is going nowhere fast. So I had to cut it off, cut it off completely. And so I was like, Okay, I'm not gonna do this anymore. I'm just gonna get back on Facebook dating and and that does nothing. And I know I'm not Tom Cruise or anything, but some of the women that hit me up on this thing, I'm like, and I look in the mirror. I'm like, I know I'm getting older, but why is this lady hitting me up? Hey, I get I got a lot of comments for the fallout from your stuff, and they're like, Jeff's a handsome guy, don't be don't be down on yourself. I'm probably like this. I'm probably like a C minus all rights, a C minus of a level. Right, Yeah, but I see and I when I say this, I'm not trying to be mean. I mean because I guess because attraction is different to every people, not everybody. Like if I lined up you know someone that was we say attractive, and all these women point at him and look at him, most women get nice. He's not attractive. He's attractive, he's attracted, not attractive, because we're all attracted to different things, obviously. But then once you get to know somebody that could there's other attractions to you. Even say that to me all the time. That's true. Yeah, yeah, like you could look one way, you see it and you can say that's a tel person or. Yeah we have really intimate talks on the beach. Yeah. Yeah, he's like the counselor, Like he said, he should have been a counselor. We were at the sitting at the bar eating tonight and he was like on his phone and I was drinking water and I was like, Dan, I said, I go, when we go to the beach, you're always on your phone. When are we gonna spend time together? Dan, I'm always here's mister TikTok over here. That's like a fluke. He's sitting in his chair. Two thousand the views already. It was nuts because the thing is I was sitting here, literally sitting in a studio, and that's how the whole TikTok things start. Did I go? Because I was testing out live stream equipment because I want a live stream again, and so I went on TikTok and go I know, on TikTok and go live. So I was testing out some of these cameras and he came in there and I was like, one people showed up on the live stream. This is stupid. You know, I go back in the day, I do these live streams and people be poppular. It was one of my followers and then you cut me off. I just said, I just turned it off. And I started thinking, I go, I don't even get on TikTok. Let me, I tell businesses how to do social media. I said, let me just go over there. I know what to do. Let me just go do it and see if I can make TikTok work. And I took something that was on my mind, something stuff that we talked about, like you know, dating, all this stuff, and I just said, hey, blah blah blah. And that night was like mumbombo and all these lads just started hitting it up. And I said, the next day we went to the beach. It was a follow up. That's when we were on FaceTime, right, yeah, that was right. It was shortly after that post, right, yeah, that was like hooking you guys up for you know some business. Yeah, for uh yeah yeah. So anyways that took off and so but I just said, TikTok's a fluke, you know, for me, that's what I think it is. I mean I already said that video, we deny it. It's tanking because I already know when you do something right. And when I after recorded the second time, I was just like, I did this wrong and I posted it and it's not doing well. But we did get emails because typically if you have something to go viral on TikTok. Like in the first five minutes, I have a thousand views and it started escalating. But the thing is, you got to comment. The first one you did, you got bend or something. Member. I sent you a video and there was music in the background and I'm like. Oh, yeah, that's right copyright. But luckily they let me take take take the copyright of music out. I didn't have to delete it, which I was thankful for and I and they let me fix it in the edit. I was like so thankful for that. I was like, man, I've got to't have to do that. But anyways, but that's you know, when I just a long story, I just took the long road. I'm not mister TikTok because I never I would hardly get on TikTok you are now. No, No, I'm not a mister TikTok. There's no way because I don't fit the profile of mister TikTok. The reason why I don't get on that profile, I'm not a woman. They narcis narcissism. Whatever narcissism you might be with a narcissist. Yes, wait, it goes both ways. What do you think about somebody who has a friend in for two years in this Texas city or Florida. I think you were kind of protecting yourself or something. No, she was what do you think? She was a nice coal. Yeah, but you have a like a long distance friend for that. You guys talking the microphone, you guys are so cheerful. I'm all over the. Broadcast and going get in the mic because I got the one. I got to be the one editing this. Little Jeffrey. Yeah, we're good, so I wouldn't do it. Well, maybe he doesn't want us to jump into that, you know, No. We are. Yeah, I got some stuff. No, but you you already you already mentioned go ahead, go ahead, this is fine, you brought it up. I'm just wondering, I know what my perspective. I was curious what Jacquelin's perspective, and I have my own thoughts on I've sort of hidden myself away for a couple of years, so I was just wondering if that it's like that's kind of a safety thing. I think so, But I think also, I think so. I think then you realize, you know, it's such a waste, and you're like, oh my god, two years of my life. I wasted, but waste, Well, sometimes you could think like I would think it, like when I'm dating and the person wasn't serious about me, I'm like, wow, you know, for me, it was such a waste of time being with this person. I know it's not a waste because you also had that momentum right together. But I feel when, especially in the dating, somebody's not ready and they're putting you on hold, like, why don't you just let the person go, like from the get go, from the beginning, why do you waste your time? Because I was a sucker for a singer, you know, was a singer recording. Artists somewhat unattainable. No, did you when she came she visited here with her daughter and stuff. Yeah, but it's just like I never seeing it going anywhere. Did you keep yourself more or less closed off to any other options during that period? Uh? Yeah, I think I did. I think I did. I think I had opportunity and I didn't run with it at all. That's just my observation. I think you were like it was kind of. But you know what, I wanted to do the right thing because I got plugged back into church. She was a Christian woman, and that's the reason I did it. I was like, Okay, this is the right way to do it, because we didn't do I'm telling you, we didn't do anything. We hadn't kissed, we didn't hold hands, nothing. It was just all like we'd communicate texts FaceTime and just have conversations and so yeah, and then I finally I think, man, a month ago, I just said I did it once before. And then we started talking again. She asked me a question about music or something blah blah blah, and I'm like, I think that I was out with you, and I just text her. I said, hey, what's this da da da? And you know the common answer. What I can't stand because I you know, I. Think about you told me about about the one. Yeah, I'm a man of faith. I you know, I believe, but I don't like, I'll pray about it. Yeah right, that's what she said. I'll pray about it. And I'm like, okay, two years you're gonna pray about it. You've had two years, and I don't take that. That's that's the lame excuse. Because God gives you free will. You can pick and choose and you'll know them by their fruits. If you're believers that you can go this, this and this. Okay, well he's got some bad traits there, okay or whatever, or you're not gonna findnybody perfect. But at the end of the day, that's the reality, and she's a great person. You know. I don't have I don't have any ear will towards or anything. But I just like, I go, I'm spinning my wheels here because this is not going to go anywhere at all, which which was stank, just stank crap, don't stank. Not picking on him, just just so it's getting to Dan Brian So Dan, yes, sir, you know we're talking. About fifties, forties. Thirties, well like you and I mean, you know, we've both had two divorces, right yeah, Jeff and I had any over here, Jaq? How many all together do we have at the table? Two? Four? Jacqueline h two let's. We're all let's say too. I'm gonna I'm gonna cut one off you. This is wild. Okay, that's good. I feel really good about myself right now. Thank you, guys, Thank you. So I had my second one was just a little over three years ago, and I I had some other stuff happen in this within the same week my mom passed away, and I didn't, like, I didn't handle that whole thing. Well, I just kind of shut myself off. I was drinking more than anybody should, and I didn't I didn't pursue any like worthwhile relationships during that period. I don't think I would, like I would even allow myself to pursue somebody that would have been a worthy or decent person, like I purposely went after women beneath me. I you know, I don't I'm not sure what what's what's the right word without you know, I'm not trying to like offend any but like people that weren't well, what wouldn't treat me the way that I would treat them, you know, Like I definitely wouldn't get receive what I gave. And I just kept going from like one to another like that, you know, never really wanting to find something good. And it's it's because like I wasn't right in the head, you know. But it's only been like in the last maybe the last I think six months. I've got my ship together more or less. Can build them after this too. Yeah, Well, I mean that's where it is, and and I'm not on the dating apps. And I saw busy Captain Dan quite busy. He is fun. I skw younger and I don't. That's just. Is that. What do you think about that age gap? Yeah? So the people age gap? Like if someone is twenty years younger than me. What do you think about that, Jacqueline, It's good, it's fine if he if that's what he wants. Right, all we're both adults. Yeah, yeah, I do have friends that that are like, what do you you know? It's gross? What are you doing? She could be your daughter? I said that, You're not the only one actually be your granddaughter. I don't have a girlfriend or I'm not I'm not dating anyone, but like that's what I've been attracted to and talking to some people, Like, I don't know. There's a stage of life, man, I don't know. I'm not hurting anybody. Okay, well did you just hurt yourself? That's all there? Hey we're talking. It's I'm kidding, trying to loosen this up. Is getting too dark and heavy in here. Oh we gotta get we're getting down into it. Yeah, I don't do the dating up. So you guys do the dating. I'm not I'm really on there. I'm really on there. I just I don't like I went on there because I got a notification. Just was like, oh I heck no. And that's just pretty much how I receive stuff like someone likes me something like I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just like. Any success stories no no success, no, no, no, that's why that's why we got thirty six thousand. Yeah, no success. I think that's it we've When it first came out, it was a great idea because I remember I went through a divorce with two thousand and fifteen. I was on there like boom, I was meeting people, people would actually communicate, I'd go out meet people. Now it was just like get on Facebook dating. It's like the chances like I met you through Facebook Dating and maybe maybe three or four other people that have had face to face over probably what four or five years? Four years four years. I went on two official or whatever, two actual dates like six months after the divorce, and I was miserable in both. But it felt like a job interview or something. But was it a dating app? No? One was a friend of a It was a friend of a friend. Okay, we were friend of a friend. Oh, I have somebody, you're going to love her. And then and they were both very nice women, and it just I felt like it was that felt like we were like exchanging resumes. Yeah, it is an interview like the first and second date. Remember I sent you a video about that and they somebody was like, oh my god, like that is so true. Dating in your fifties feels like. And then the boy, the kid, he's asking all these questions and then he's like, why are you asking me this? He's like, because that's my job. But then dating is like that, you know, so it's unfortunate when you start getting to know. So why do you want to get to know this person? Why do you want to know so much instead of just it's like you have to let a flow. But at the same time, no, if you you want to meet the person, want to make a friendship and build that and you can you know, you would know from I think the second date or the third date if it's going to happen or not, you know, like if you go out right now. We've been talking and like we were talking the first night. One day he said, oh, I feel like I'm in kindergarten as. So talking on the cheek of WhatsApp where I would you have voice masage you back and forth. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, talking on the phone like we've been talking on so But since we have been talking, I haven't been going on the app. And I started the dating app two years ago, not two years, like almost two years starting go on the dating app on Facebook because my son, my son Evan, who graduated, was like, Mom, I think it's time for you to start dating. Yeah, after ten years of not being with anyone or dating ten years. I waited yep. So he was the one that actually told me, you know, to start. And then my daughter was like, well, maybe you should go to do some pilates and maybe you'll meet someone there, but not in publics. Not in public, in publics or target or smart not in church. Now someone told me to go to Polish. Yeah, that go to pilates. That's where all the women are and they're all in good. Shape, they're all unavailable. Yeah but no, no, but I don't think so, I don't think that that was my daughter. She's always on TikTok and she's like into her body, so she's like they're all into social media. So if she suggested pilate, it's for a reason, then I think. She's like, mom, did you see Jeff Adams on TikTok? Wow, this guy's no, she doesn't look at a human in their fifties out of things. So so, but we got to. Get to them. Your feet on TikTok, not mine, oh my, but my feet on TikTok incident has been like weird. It's been women about talking about past abuse narcissism. Yeah, and when did that become so popular on the internet, like every man in the world a. Narcissist and every woman to every X it's like, yeah, that's yes, yeah, every exces. Yes, he's a narcissist. She's a narcissist. He's you know, yep, that's what I got. It was what maybe five years ago, became a buzzer where everybody was saying that he's a narcissist, he's a narcissist, Jeff's Jeff was definitely called a narcissist. Yeah. I was called a narcissist, not a narcissist. Yeah, and I I never thought I was narcissus. I was asked that I's like, man, when you get called that, you go oh blah blah, and you start self reflecting. But when you do work on yourself, it's like, no, I knew in that phase that person that called me. It was like, I wasn't healed up for my first divorce. It was my second marriage. So I was completely angry of hurt that I happened dealt with. So it was reacting counter reacting anger coming out of me, which wasn't good. It wasn't excusable. But that's not narcissism. That was not healing up from your first divorce. So when I got called up, I was like, and I asked people an artist, you think of a narcissism and like, oh, man, blah blah. When you get called that, you start questioning, like, well what am I you know? And so you start thinking that. But I dealt with anger, and after I dealt with that, I got found the root of the problem, dealt with the anger, the anger cleared up, you know, and it was like, okay, because I rarely get angry anymore. It's it takes a lot for me to get angry. But I did lose my crap on the road the other day. But that was base because I already had a gun pull on me on the on the road with my kids in the car road rage. So I pointed a gun at me and I was calm. I said, hey man, calm down, calm down, and get He points a gun at me. So I get his license tagged by what we reported or whatever. I had to do a lineup. Then a couple of weeks later, that's crazy. I'm just driving going to this meeting and driving in the slow lane, driving in the slow lane, and this truck comes up behind me and I'm like, I'm going seventy five miles an hour at the toll road and the lane was the left lane was wide open. They get up on me and there's a trailer they they're pulling stuff, and these guys in these green shirts and they're going they both take give me the middle fingers, and I'm just like sitting there. I'm like, I'm like looking and I'm like, you know what, heck no. I hit the gas and this is the first time I got peeved. I swerved into the lane. I rolled down my window and I said, I said, oh, you give me the fingers. That's real nice. And I go and I said something's completely ridiculous, which I guess it was pretty good accout. I go, hey, buddy, God's got a plan for your life, and I just drove off like I didn't say few though. I mean I was angry, but what came out of my mouth, I was really surprised. Uh, you know, most people like, why did you say that? But it was I guess that's probably what the heck was that, you know. I don't know, but I say that because I know that when you deal with things in your life, and most people don't want to go there, they don't want to talk about it. I don't have any problems what I've been through, and people go all your transparency, well, if it helps other men, you know, or women, vice versa. But I've helped a lot of men along the way, so I'm very transparent when I went through because it's just part of the journey. But if you don't, if you don't heal from it, then what are you doing? What are you doing on the dating apps? What do you guys doing on the data apps? If you're not healed up? When Jeff gets hungry, he's really angry, really like really hungry. I was agitated today, but you know, off the rails. That's another thing. There's a thing called halt. There's a thing called when you when you know your body halt. Hungry, angry, lone, tired. And if you're like agitated, you've got four of those things. Probably there's something the matter and you need to know your body. So you're right. I was. I was angry, angry, and I'll be tired. So that's too. So if you know those things why you're getting triggered, you can you can bring it down. I said, well, I gotta go eat. Once I had that salmon in my mouth, I was a different man, was I not the salmon? Yeah? Potatoes? Yeah, there you go. He recovered. But I got like that. So if I'm hungry, I think that's not. Yeah, it's not. It's but see that girls are the same. That's but that's in relationships, right, People put expectations on you, Yeah, based on normal behavior, and all of a sudden like well he's angry all the time and or whatever, and then they started isolating himself and and the separations having the back turns in the bed and the other back turns on the bed. You have separation over over stuff, and communication is always the key, you know, because the well a lot of the times with it, it's like if you don't communicate at the end of the day and you just like close off, like you should, like, hey, I'm upset right now, why are you upset? Because most women do that. They're gonna tell you anyway, so I'm upset, or they're not going to tell you. They just hold it in because they want you to read their mind half. The time and then blow up and then blow up after yeah right, yeah, but it is too late. But it's like the expectations we put. Men do it too. I'm not saying it's all women, but we put expectations on people because we put these things in our head and they go, well, they should just know that anyways. If you don't express it and tell people that in general, you're gonna have some problems because you can't hold people expectations if they don't know. Now, if they know and they continue to cross over the line, you got a problem because they don't respect you. You know. That's why I've told somebody that they I said, I don't think they ever loved you if they did that to you. And it's tough bill a swallow, but it's the truth. You know, the disrespect or they're wounded, then there's something going on there. Does doesn't make an excuse. That's why a lot of people were talking about dating because it's all checked out because people are When you go through divorce, it's the I call it the gift that keeps giving, the bad gift that keeps giving, because it just goes on and on and on and then it goes on. The people that you meet, they go through divorce, they have trauma that they haven't dealt with, or you have kids that are angry that their parents got divorced. Abandonment, trust issues like I got that trust the deal. Yeah, yeah, So I don't really blame Dan going young because most of those women haven't been married yet, right, so they're not dealing with all that. They might be the only with baggage. But he will continue having the trust issues. Like trauma, like I seem to attract other We all have some trauma to some degree, but yeah, I seem to attract people with the same level of trauma that I deal with. Until you don't kill like I feel like you've been healing yourself, like because of what you just said before, how you reacted. So if you don't find yourself, I think that's one of the things. Probably you found yourself and you've found your inner you and you're like feel at peace. I'm thinking, this is what I feel like like you're transmitting by what you're saying. But I found myself after ten years, and there's no way like if I'm going to be in a relationship, it's because I want to be in that relationship, not because that person is going to make a difference in my life. I am already you know, sut and Stone, So I just want a companion. So then like a lot of girls, the younger ones also, so if you're looking for a younger one, also you're still going to feel insecure, right because she's younger, But they are also looking for that partner that it's going to be kind of responsible for them, you know, And. You know, yeah a lot. I had a lot of that, And like I said, within the last I'm as good as i've been and I have a ways to go, but I see what I see my pattern and like you just said, yeah, there's the ones that are gonna expect you to be responsible. Yeah, it's like when you're buying a car, yeah, sugar that you know the other day I saw something on TikTok and they're like, hey, you know, if you want a girl and you're looking for you know, you're complaining because she's asking for too much. You know. It's the same thing as when you go to a dealership you want it to yoda. You know, you want a BMW and if this is what you want, you have to pay the price. Yeah. And the maintenance yeap, the maintenance. Yeah, you have to pay the price yeah, yeah. Yeah Mercedes and BMW's. Yeah yeah, that's uh Alexis or then we go into the what is it? Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. I about a BMW one time my second marriage. I was like, oh, I want to BMW, so you know, and she needed a car too, so I guess it became her car and it was a It was a lemon. I said, this is crazy, this is so much work for this car. And she walked with the car and the divorced. But I'm like, Mercedes being there, I'm never doing it again. Oh did I say? Oh my god, oh my god. But you're right. I don't do the high. I don't do the high price thing. I just don't do it. I don't have the capacity they do it. I just I just don't do it. I like the shinye barkley thing for a while, and then I realized what I was doing, so I got a little I got a little better. Yeah, I'm better a little. Oh wow, I feel like the shiny sparkly and then you know it's just getting is I feel the lifestyle and this generation is changing so much. There is no communication. They don't look at you in the high everything. It's like they leave you on hold. Right, you'll wait for two days if possible. That's like a punishment for you. Yes, right, so right, and then you'll buy her whatever she want. You'll come up with flowers or something. Right, because you feel like that's what you need to do. This is all they run it, right, because this is all that, This is what they learn on social media, what to do, how you treat a man and how you make him want you. So then it's not a real relationship. They're not being you know themselves, and then it's not a relationship. It's not a true relationship. You're right, there's no emotions. And there's the there's even like my Instagram feed. I'll get these things that come by like that. If it's say, it's like it's make your ex you know, want you back. Yeah, and then and it's some program that you have to pay for, but it's all it's all like games. Like if they text you, don't text right back, they say this, don't say this, and so inven if it's you, if no, I didn't pay for it, but I don't know, but like these are the things to get get the girl that you want, make her like really desire you. And then and it's all basically in what you said communication. So you're starting off if you if you follow that path, you're starting off from the very beginning, like with shitty communication, like your communication is a game and you like it. No, I don't know, I don't. That's like you said, they don't communicate. And I like, if you like somebody and you're interested in somebody and they text you or call you, fucking call them back, text them. Back, but they don't, it's a punishment and then it makes you feel like you want them. But I've moved on. You learned your lesson. I did. Oh my gosh, I just got triggered because I haven't been kind of microphone since been on the video and you just said the word and I went for the dump button. Oh, I was like no. I was like, no, it's all good. But I was like, I got I did you see me jump because you said that When I went, I was, I thought I had a dump on because FCC you get your license pulled. Get fine saying the F word. So I went like this, you went if I went like, there's a dump button, like that's. What did you say? At the brand and people. Are being taught, Let's make this person desire you. You you need to act in this certain way when you should just trust you be yourself. Be yourself. If you like me, you like me the way I am right, be yourself. Can't change anybody. No, you can't, especially later in life. And if somebody waits twenty four hours or whatever, and then and then it's. Like I was just so busy. Oh yeah, yeah really, but you know you can be You can be busy. You could be at work because I'm working during the day and sometimes I can't, like I'm on zoom calls or you know, just on the computer, or if I have an event, I'm not going to be on my phone, right, so but eventually I will yeah, response during the daytime, you know, like not the next day, not the next day. Yeah, and that's something that it's understandable, like you could understand, right, but but. If it's something somebody that you care for or you have interest in, you would certainly at the end of the day. Yeah, early mornings. Understand like, yeah, everybody's working, Yeah, some people can't. But yeah, communication just but you. Got a burn a phone, right, you got two phones? Well, I have my work phone, I have my work and my personal phone. Yeah, of course, Yeah, how. Do you how do you balance that out? Which ones? Which ones for? For what for? Talking them in? Oh? He wanted to bring it up, right, Yeah, which one is it? The work? I don't, I don't. I'm not talking to any man. She already said. I picked that up. She already said that earlier. It's not talking about I'm talking to Jeffrey, and so Jeffrey here Jeffrey, and then that is the person talking business. Or what are we talking about? We just talked about miscellaneous stuff. Yes, what you're eating bubble? Yeah, when you were in New York, I said, oh, it's going to New York blub blah blah blah. So that's cool, that's what I think. I like, that's cool. And I'm thinking that you say about time when someone's not texting, the time management thing. It's like, I was just thinking that. I like where I'm at live, and there's a lot of things that would change in turn on which I'm working on. You know, you always want to get better, but there's some things I'm like, well, you know what, Like what time is it right now? It's nine oh eight, I'm in Dan's bedtime, it's past bedtime, and I'm doing a podcast. But sometimes I stay here at ten thirty eleven o'clock at night now and I don't have anybody where were you? Is that a studio? This has got to end. You need to be here regular hours eight to five, because that's not how what I do it. That's not how it works, you know, a creative lifestyle. I think, yeah. I think at least like once we get to our age in our fifties, that we lose that stuff, Like I don't have any time for that. Like if somebody's acting that way towards you, that's it. Ain't nobody got time for that. That's a quick relationship like that, that's a quick. Yeah, I don't want a jealous person. Where were you? But you know what, it's so true something I think I saw it. Maybe you shared it with me. You It could have been anybody. I don't know, but I saw something that was really interesting. I said that, that's so true. And maybe it was on TikTok my feed. That's what it was. This lady said something. The fact like, if you're waiting around for somebody you know two think you're already going to be disappointed. You should find somebody that's constantly busy doing things and make your life busy too, because if you're sitting raining around your expectations, you're gonna get mad at that person. Go, well, person's not doing this and something. Just really you're busy at the end of the day, they're just busy. It's just what like reiterating what we just said right now, we were just talking about it. It's the same thing. But you cannot you have to move on. You cannot depend on a person or look for a partner to build your life or to make you happy, because sometimes you start talking to someone and it's like you feel anxious and you're like, why is didn't she calling me? Why is she texting me? Why did he say only morning? And he didn't say good morning? Like you know, yeah, little things that I've been there, I've been there. Yeah yeah, yeah. I neglected my business for a while, and I had a lot of downtime, right, And that's exactly. It affects your business, that's what. And my business was slow. So if I was I was just saying I was a person like, hey, wait, why aren't they what you know, why didn't I haven't heard bag? And then to couple that up with the their lack of communication skills drove me nuts. And then you're up early, right yeah? What time are you up? Usually in the morning, six thirty okay, And then you go to bed early. So then you want somebody young that wants to go to bed late. How do you work that out? Yeah? I want h the not everybody wants to stay up late and go out to clubs and stuff. There's not anymore, and especially here in Florida maybe yeah in Orlando, yeah yeah, not in New York. It's yeah, I get I don't really have any success stories lately. I'm just having fun. So okay, but yeah, I couldn't go. I think you said something earlier. There's no way we could go to like a nightclub or anything. And even good yea a night clumping or two. But uh, I do these hiking videos a lot because i've been that's been like part of my therapy, getting back in shape and hiking this trail. It's pretty challenging. And since I've been on TikTok, I get a lot of women interested in the hiking. Oh nice, okay, And so. They're not big partiers or they're not big drinkers, and like some of them are younger and just start chatting and if something happens and maybe we meet up and have lunch. And you know, go naked on the trail. Okay, it's seven ounty. He was looking at my TikTok a thing about it and he was like, my shirt off, I mean degrees today it looks like he's nude. I said, TikTok, I think you're nude walking through the Bear trail or whatever it's called. Black Bear Wilderness Trail. Yeah, it's awesome nudity on TikTok. I just my shirt was soaking wet. It was literally soaking wet, so I took it off. Yeah, it takes more views, It's okay, yeah, of course, see that was the whole purpose. That's why. Really, yeah, I guess I guess that's why I find it. But yeah, it's kind of fun though, because I went to a last Friday, a celebration of life when my good friend's father passed away like months ago, and they they had a celebration of life, and it was friends that I hadn't seen a year or some from all the way back to elementary and middle school. And most of the people that I walk up to you, they're like, oh, we didn't recognize you with the shirt on. Oh my god. They so they saw my videos. But that but but but they were just you know, they were messing with me because they they're like, we keep doing and we like we like watching your videos. Okay, yeah, because I see all kinds of animals out there, pigs and deer and alligators. I mean it's carry in there. Oh no, no, no, I don't jump in No. Well, I mean I think there were you said something about going to nightclubs. The revelation from me going to nightclubs was back I think it was twenty yeah, no, was it twenty fifteen sixteen? There was there's a big tech community in Orlando, and I was doing like this job. So they said, hey, you need a network with all these people building naps and stuff. So this guy I knew, he goes, hey, why don't you why don't you go out with this. I'm like, we're going downtown. I was like, oh man, and this is like a this is twenty fifteen, so this is a while ago. And I was like the early forties and went to the club doing the downtown because I used to go downtown Lando in my twenties all the time, go to dance clubs, stay it till it closed, go to waffle house afterwards, whatever, and you know, live a life. So I went. But this is when I was in nineties. There was no phones. I mean they were coming around. You mean you had little flip phones and stuff, but they really have phones. So I remember going, they go, come on, old man. They were call me an old man when I was forty and they were like in their twenties or whatever. They goes, come on. So I would go to these clubs. I go, I used to come to this club and it's just different. I looked out on the dance floor and I saw all these people. They were dancing, but the whole time they were doing this or their phones taking pictures. I'm like, what is this? And then and then this coal comes up the next to me goes, hey, this is my friend Jeff. Blah blah blah. She's a young girl and immediately she goes, hi Jeff, and she does a snapchat with me, and I'm like, I don't even know. I'm like, she just took a snapchat at me. I was like, she goes, hey, nice to meet you, and she walks off. I'm like, this is so bizarre. So anyways, I couldn't keep up with these guys. They kept going from club to club, and then finally I said, I'm going to bail. I go these guys are out of control. I can't hang with these guys. So eventually just said, hey, they couldn't find me because they worried you're out, and I said and I lied, I said, yeah, man, I met somebody hooked up with somebody. Oh dog, really, I'm like yeah, And I was like, I was like halfway home. At that point, I was I'm done. I can't do this. It was crazy because you can't I don't know to check your body. But I, uh yeah, because I did some pretty heavy partying when I first got a divorce. I mean, and some places I never really should have been based on people I was hanging around with. But but I wasn't. I wasn't a drug e or anything. But I'm just like closing places down in Tampa and uh yeah, you just realize you wake up and go, this is not life, you know, this is this is dumb, and I get it. Kids want to go out. I just going to I get mad going to a restaurant and I'm trying to talk. And I love music. I'm a musician, but man, you want to have a conversation with somebody and there's someone with a guitar in the corner. It's like, I'm trying to have a conversation. When you turn it down a little bit, that's how old I'm getting. And most all people go out they love hearing live music, but I go to conversate with people I want to talk. Go to the wrong places, turning it down, toning it down, You're going to the wrong places. First of all, all the. Nice restaurants I hear my door on the patio prices rising that someone playing on a Friday Saturday night. Well, people to listen to music. Yeah, maybe maybe you're sitting too close to the speaker. Yeah, going to the wrong places. I feel like, do you need to go like a coffee place, like somewhere. Up the guys up in the balcony on the Muppet Show. Exactly known ground. You don't you get mad when you have like yell and you can't hear. I do, No. I get like my anxiety. Anxiety kicks in, like I'm like over stimulation. But I so when all those people on TikTok calming down below and they said, I just stay at home, and I get that. Yeah, that's what I've been doing. I go home, watch series. I don't go I don't go out. If I go out, you know, like it's five o'clock, it's time to eat the Senior Citizen Hour. You know, I was Tom, you go eat, and you go, oh, well, it's about five thirty about to turn in over here for a nap, Jeff. And that's when I started getting a routine. I'm like, man, why am I so tired? You posted that about your after dinner nap I'd like. To take a nap. It's like after lunch, but I can't. Not during work. But yeah, if i'm off you. Yeah, you have to be honest. You nap during work one time? Night didn't she did? Night, didn't? I have? I have? Yeah, that's the beauty like entrepreneurship. You can do that floor in my office. Yet sometimes you have to. I was so tired. Yeah, I put a phone book under my head, that was my pillow and I laid flat, oh, flat on my back. Yeah. I think you must have been really tired. Oh wow, because I went. I was out for like a half hour. When I'm like, oh wow, that was nice. Nap work they make you more productive. Oh yeah, but when you're dragging, Yeah, you're no good to anybody. If I was like, if I had a big company and I had a bunch of employees, I'd make a place I'd make. Naps, make a nap room. Now I tell you what I. Say, Hey, if you need to take a nap, take a nap, because you're more likely they're going to stay later m h and be more productive. But they feel like it's a home. They can go make coffee or do whatever, and like go to you down a couch or something. I would totally do that because you get a lot more people that are productive and that is so true, dedicated to your company, Like man, they're so cool. Man, It's like, take a nap and you wouldn't get in trouble if you're tired. Tired. I work from home and I stay all the way all night on the computer, and you know, because I sometimes he's like, what are you doing? And I'm like, I'm still working from hey thirty in the morning. To if I work late, I can't wind down and go to bed, Like how do you fall asleep? Like because I have the office at home too, and if I'm there atll like nine o'clock and I stop my brain just I know it's going and going, and when I lay down and I'm like, it's still going. Now, I won't go straight to bed, of course, so I'll have I'll said, I'll be maybe, I'll chat a little bit. Do what hot chocolate? That's me? Hot chocolate? Yeah? Cho a gummy No, no, they don't work for me. Take a nice shower or a bath, a nice bubble bath. I need to get back here, yeah yeah, and. Then put some EPs and songs and just relax. But not all the time. Sometimes I do that, and then I sleep like a baby. I'm up by seven or. Eight and I go to Bubby, but into eight that's good. Yeah. If I'm off, my day's off nine ten Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean I'm different. I get on a schedule and then I break my schedule, and then I'll go through patterns like I'll go I'll fall asleep like at nine, get up at one, be up from one to like five a m. Lay back down, get back up at eight. Sometimes in areas that if I'm on a schedule, I get up at six, go down early. I've been taking this is we sound so freaking old? I know, going to fall asleep right now. Your schedules are probably riveting the people listening. Oh my god. Yeah, but but how how are we going to solve the issue? Jeffrey? The where do we meet? Like? Where? That's what? Yeh? Pick this whole thing, that's right? What are we going to like? How are we gonna well, this is. What you're probably gonna expect. What are we going to do to meet up? Is it gonna get I am a melowtonin I have a year affection. Oh my god. I yeah, but this is probably the conversations and most I don't want to do this. I said, I don't blame people. Not to ain't nobody four months ago? Why prostate biops? Everything's cool, okay, yeah, but that's what the men in their fifties, that's a wordy of I will. That's another conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's another conversation. Yep, you know that. So I feel like men's and they're fifty, right, they're going through those things and they don't really talk about it, and then they want to get in a relationship and they're looking for a type of woman, a type. But then they why are you trying to look for this person this type of woman? Right, But you're not working on yourself. You want her to look fit, to look nice to that, and then you have issues also on top of that. Right, we are going through things, and then when you get to that time, to that moment you're like you know, yeah, I don't know, you freeze and you're like, oh my god, Like should I be honest and tell her? I would? Yeah, I'm terrified. He's cutting it. It's if you have e ed, right, is that was that what you mean like somebody can't give it up? I don't, Thank God, I don't have that problem. No, no, no, no, hey, this is a great time spot blue dot com. No like, no, no, no, you just yeah, you just talked about that, right, like happy. If you if you have trouble your prostate, A lot of men can't perform yep, yeah that's not me. Okay, so I would, but I would be I'm horrified by what you're saying, Like, I wouldn't know I would if I had. If I had that problem, I would totally give up. I think you give up? What do you mean by giving up? Just like. He's give it up? No, oh my gosh. I wouldn't even care about dating anymore. I would live my life and play golf every day. Really yeah, if you couldn't be intimate, is this what we're talking about? I might? Did I? Right? You talking about I was talking about going to church? Right? Yeah? So what happens then when you get to that point and the man is not able? Well, I'm axing you, like guys, because you mentioned the having that you know that is issue, right, and then in general you said these are things that men go. Through, right, this is what we start, yeah, in forties, but it's. Not It's not only that. It's also like there's so many other things that they go through but they don't like to admit it or talk about it. And then when they start a relationship, it's when they realize, like, holy crap. But then you you have so much expectation from the girl. You know, you want somebody young, you want somebody that's active. But then you can manage or handle that, you know, right. There's two foot to go too far down the road, and Blue dot Com should have been like they should have been honest up front. I guess if I was in that position, I would understand, like you'd be. The man would be scared to say something up front because they would be rejected. But but that's really something important that they would need to tell the woman. Yeah yeah, yeah, But when you went through that situation too, it was a hard time for you also to be in a relationship. Uh No, it was no temporary okay, it was like a five day on the sidelines. It was really sore. Okay, okay, But it's sad, like what he's saying, you know that he'll give up on a relationship because of something like that. I just enjoy sex, and that's like a big part. There's always an alternative, there's always a curate. I feel like there's always something because especially for guys. Person and you guys can watch Mattlock together, Oh, hold each other's arms and fall asleep and watch Mattlock. Yeah, I still would be lonely with my companionship. Yeah, if you had someone like something good to say on the podcast, Like, if I couldn't have sex, I'd give up. Yeah, but it eventually that's going to happen though. Yeah, right, I guess you will want to get there. Yeah. I mean most of them stay married. I know. Al Pacina starts sleeping in separate beds. Al Pacino just had a baby. He's eighty two years old my way, okay, yeah yeah, and baby mom is like, I don't know, twenty nine years old or something. Oh wow, pass. You see that's who he's that's those are his expectations. He wants to be eighty two. I still have a You want to have a baby at eighty two and have a twenty nine. If mommy will take care of the baby, yeah while I go make movies. Sure, okay, pass the sweet potato. I know, I like much, right, I don't judge Alpaco. Good for him. Yeah, I've had his wife's habity. She's gonna get a lot of money when he's. Got she Actually, maybe there's more than that. Jeffrey bas Sweep, don't be shaming him. I don't be shaming him for the age gap relationship. Yeah. I mean, now that's like fifty some years. I'm not. I'm fifty seven, so that wouldn't work for me. I mean I thought about that. I thought about that. It's like I think I want to turn fifty, about turn fifty four. I turned fifty. I thought about that. I was like, you know, restart, if I met someone younger that one have kids, I think I would do it. But now I'm thinking about him, like no, no, thanks, Yeah, anyway, I don't think I would. After my second child, I'm like, really, yeah, I can't anymore. And I did kind of regret that against Jeff's saying, but he has his prolec like are you serious you can anymore? Yeah? Like you they not snip snip, Yeah they snipped. Yeah. We were so the first wife, we were. We agree with you know, two kids, great, we got a boy and a girl, great, and we don't want to have anymore and I'm like, okay, I'll go do it. Got the dissected me and it was twenty years ago. That's depressing. No, you go through life, it's like you don't it's at that point you don't expect you're going to get divorced, and you don't think that you would ever have another family or ever want to have kids again. I was a no brainer, like, go get a vasectomy, and the three years later my kids were three and five when I got the first divorce. So did you ever regret regret it? Like do you feel like maybe you would have won another child with your second or like maybe in the future, like mister al Pacino. No pass. So I'm trying to think of the time, the time gap between the first divorce and the second marriage. I kind of yeah, you know I did. I do kind of feel like with the second wife, she couldn't have kids anywhere either anymore. She had two. I had two and she had two. I would have if she would have said, like, let's let's have a child, I would have seriously thought about it, like, but neither one of us could. And she's she had no, No, she had no interest in it. But yeah, I mean when they're little in that it's it's it's really hard. But that's a really great time in life. Mm hmm, it's a beautiful time. Yeah, Blue Choo. So so when you're dating, when you're getting with a girl now because you like younger ones, you have to let. Them know straight up, I can't get you pregnant. Yep, I don't want no kids. If you're looking for that, this is that it's not right. Yeah. And that's the other thing. Yeah, that's the other thing. Yeah, it's a biggie. Right, blue Choo dot com. So I'm not on the dating apps. I just I'm relying on my social media videos and people that message me. And that's how I've been meeting people, women, girls, girls, women. I must see that weird. Yes, yeah, so I've been pretty happy the last six months. I'm still going to ba correct you, all right, all right, take what he said, I just don't want to live anymore. I I did not know. I don't want to. No. I said I would give up, And what I meant was I would give up trying to have relationships, not give up. I mean, that's important. That's it's kind of Dark's. Important sex and the intimacy and that. I mean, that's a big thing for men and women too and humans mm hmm. And if you all of a sudden can't do that anymore, that would really suck. That's why I said I would just give up. But I meant relationships, not life. No, I have a son and a daughter. I'm like, I'm not going to. I think we blew up the whole meet up thing conversation. Yes, these people, there'll be a big banner it says sponsored by Blue Choo. Yeah, but you know in the old mortgage Captain Dan. I don't know people our age. We don't mind talking about like real life and what's happening. Like there's nothing to be afraid of. This is what happens. So what's what's the email that we set up for the event that we've got to figure out in September? Get together? I r L. Why I are out in real life? Okay, get together? So you have to say that. So the other I r L, which. Like that it could be a reminder of real life. Okay. So it's like we're trying to get off of the apps. We're trying to get up from behind the computer and get out and meet in real life. Kind, So get together I r l at gmail dot com. So maybe get together over fifty or like just get together. That didn't work. No, I would discriminate because okayty year old, secure. Old yell and it. Jeff like, hey what about us? Okay, we're forty and we want to you know, we don't like bars in either. What do we do any think? Don't call it a single thing either. You know that's intimidating for people. It's like that's you know, I think someone just said on one of the older videos like that, I have a social anxiety. I said, oh, you know, that's time. I said, you know, we'll make sure you don't have social anxiety. Maybe she won't after she watched the podcast. You can go, hey, I have social anxiety. Now. I just heard you guys three talk and I'm not coming to your event. And if that's what you guys are going to talk about, you guys are weird. No, we're not, or they could or they could be like, yeah, these are normal people and they just talked about normal things, good and bad in life. I mean, I been thinking about it. It's like we were going to try to pull one off on August twenty ninth, and I thought about it and everybody's questions, mainly women's asking me questions like they're gonna be a Bathroom's gonna be ac I don't know if I want to do on the beach. Is there access to a bathroom or you know? How do I get drinks? How to get food? I'm like, I don't know. And then I saw the response. I was like, this is crazy. So we can't obviously just show up somewhere, because that's why people want the details. And I didn't have any details, like hey, we're going to meet at the beach at mark or whatever, and you show up, you show up, and then people go, hey, let's go get something. You know, you have to have some kind of place. But then I was like, hey, I told Dannisa, we got to go find a a restaurant or something, or like a bar or something. And I go, oh, but we'll go in to a bar. We don't want to go in the bars, so what do we do? You know, so it might have to be segment. We might have to do like one big meet up can. Beat at a bar and everybody doesn't have to get plowed. Yeah, but you know what I'm saying food, But I think there's. Somewhere big enough to get a bunch of people in. There's a big demographic of people that I think they're not They're not They're not gonna connect. There's gonna be so many people are gonna not connect. So it's almost like I'm gonna have to tell people like, hey, who does a wakeboarding raise your hand? Okay, you guys wakeboarding people over here? Or who who does this? And so people can find their people so they can go do it and lead their groups or whatever, and then they're not on their own anymore. That's all more than one hundred huh. You think over one hundred. People based on That's why I want to get emails. And if I get emails, I know these people legit. I went through all those comments. I said, this is crazy. There's no way we would be able to do something the longest twenty ninth without getting out of control. If all those people were saying that they're going to show up, and majority of them they would comment and then DM me as well. So I was like, I'm in, just let me know. Blah blah, blah, where is it gonna be? That's one of the questions. I go, I don't know. We're trying to figure this out. I go, this is kind of overwhelming. I go, just got to give me a second. I didn't have any answers for anybody, so it's like and then I asked a lady. She reached out. She has like this group called assault Life Singles in New Smerna, and I hit her up. I was supposed to talk to her today, but since we're not doing the event, I said, would you help me plan this event? Because hey, if we did it a New somewher to beach the first one, she at least would know some things. She's pretty tight in there. Plus I'm like, hey, I could just hand it off her anyways, because I never intended to, you know, this to happen in the first place. I'm just like, hey, there's a lot of people, there's a need here. Let's just try to do something. But you know, we're not going to please everybody, because there's already people already complaining before it even happened. I'm like, let me just stay home, Just stay home. You know. It's like I get it. Oh, you men baba. I was like, yeah, so the number of people that you said comment, like, if you cut that number in half, about how many. So if half of the people showed up that say they're going to show up about it, I. Would say based on my DMS, I probably we'd probably be at two hundred plus two hundred plus the people that DM me directly. All right, And that's not concluding because some people might that DM correctly. That's why I wanted to get an email thing like, Okay, if I get an email, then give us because then we can do like an email, do like an announcement or whatever, like hey, blah blah blah, but check your email. All the details are gonna be in the email. This is where we're meeting. Yeah. Yeah, that's when we know it's legit and people really want to do this or not. If not, because I think people will just randomly say because we were talking about that, Like people make plans all I'll be there and then something comes up that's like I'm too tired, I'm not going. I'm just gonna watch Matt Lock on t. Yeah. Yeah, I'm I'm the same. I'm the same way when I had to do like these radio events. Remember those radio events to do, Yeah, I hated it. I'd have to drink a lot just to go listen talk to the listeners, and I love them, but they would go, You're so different than what you are on the on the radio, and I'm like, yeah, I'm sorry to disappoint you, you know, because I just didn't want to be there. I mean, I just did because it was awkward, you know, So I get it. I mean, that's what I'm saying. It's like I because I'm already feeling weird. If I'm leading something, I'm okay, I mean, but if I'm showing up to somebody else's thing, that's when I deal with the social anxiety. Because that's why I'm like thinking the head. I'm like, maybe we plan to sing out because I want every little detail like figured out. I don't want anybody to feel like they're not welcomed or like they're over in a corner, like because social anxiety to get you. So if I somehow someone can go through the door, because we might have to do like an email and do like what's your hobbies, right, what are some of the things that you like to do, and so we can go through his emails and put people in packs and say, hey, what are you group? These people like wakeboarding, they like this, that and the other, so they can have someone in common. At least they're not isolated. Because if you could go to someone like the Dan and Dan goes, I like, I like to have sex, they go, oh my gosh y. Yeah, also like each one there. I got an idea. So you have like the beach bummers here, the Dan over there, and then you have then another group here from church. Let's say, right, yeah, the music on the other end. So yeah, but I mean, that's what I'm saying. It's not intent that this is going to be a big thing that's going to happen, and people want it to happen all the time. But it's to connect people in the communities where they can thrive and not be alone to do life by themselves anymore. They have a tribe, they can find their tribe, and some people might have to step out and just start leading, Like someone in that tribe is going to say, hey, I'll be the leader of this tribe, because we don't to say that there's another there's another goal. And she hit me up and I talked to her on the phone and she she does divorce recovery. Oh wow, divorce recovery all the way through, and she's got like she was telling me she has chapters of these women and she said, like the first one, she goes, we'll come out, but we do these all these other events, and she goes, we're always looking for things to do, but what we do, we don't have enough male presence at ours. And then that's what someone said in the comments, like, man, this is a big woman fest. Yeah, we have phreendominantly. But then the men started creeping up. But the men started creeping up. I mean a lot of guys say I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there. Once the men find out where the women are, they will. Oh yeah, will be there because they wanted to the sating. But I know that there is like a mingle dating on Facebook also like that people look at like if you want to go and see singles. Their places, the diner thing. Not sure, but I know on Facebook they have like every week they have something for dating. Yeah, they have something like that. So but yeah, I mean, if we can make this like as low pressure or whenever, you may not even use dating. And if if you see somebody that's like all off or coming to their own, like, you know, there should be enough of us in the group that like go talk to this. But I don't want to make a dating thing. That's the last thing I want to do, like age bracket, because I know women will find each other. They might find new friends, like they can go out, have wine, watch movies together, do whatever. Or guys the same thing. Hey, we're going to the beach, or it could be guys and gals with no pressure of like, oh does he like me? Does it not like me? Does he like me? Because I you know, you don't want to do that. It's like I just want to you know, my term life. I want to get no people, get people out of the house, people that like have given up, people that don't want to go through the hassle of. They don't care about fating anymore. Wheah, you know, no swiper, swiper, no swipe. Yeah, yeah, just sometimes you just want company and you're so busy during the week, if you're out there busting your butt working, because I how many you know, and I you know, of course you know my snap back. I don't do that, but you know it's my quick reflex for radio and some women go and it was just like they were getting mad at me, like, well, that's the last thing I want to do. I work twelve hours. I'm a nurse. I work twelve hours. I get up early in the morning, I go to bed and I'm like, oh, that ain't my fault. It's not my fault. Why are you getting you know, why do you tell me that? I go, dude, that's the life you choose. And they say, and that's the last thing I'll do for a man. I'm like, I never said that. This was you just ignore them. You do it for you do it if you want. People are miserable. Yeah, people are literally miserable. And you know, and that's maybe that's my thing. I have a heart for these people. It's like, man, they need to get out of the funk because it's just they're stuck in the cycle because someone hurt them along the way. They gave up. And then that's just telling me you gave up, and then you're what sixties and there's people that commented their sixty five seven years old, I just gave up. I don't even think about that anymore. I just go home watch they gave up. We're fifty and they gave up. I think there's I don't. I don't think it's exclusive to any age bracket. But you know, and that's what I wanted to I want to tell people about this thing. It's not about everybody puts like their what they're looking for into another person in the opposite sex. Cool. If you meet somebody, great, that'd be Hey, we can use that for a banner. Hey they got married through this group or whatever. That's great. But that's not the intention. My attention is like for people to find community, because I know, like COVID did a number on everybody and made people really gravitate towards their homes isolate, and it's very easy to isolate. God knows, I did it for three years. You were reaching out to me when I was going through my stuff, and I was just like I had to heal. I like, I can't go to the bars, I can't do this stuff. I just go to church, I do my work stuff. I'm back home. I didn't do anything, and I get it, there's a time for that, but most people get in the habit of that, and you know it causes depression. You know, all these things, and it's no way to live life. And that's and that's the thing, the best thing where we do. We started hanging out again. He's like, hey, I'm going to the beach because I think we went on the hike. I got really bad blisters. And next day I went to New Smern a beach destroyed his feet. Oh man, it was like twelve mile hike or something. Wow, it was eight but but I did twelve miles that day because I walked beforehand too. So anyways, he did, he did. I had a pair of old Adidas and there was a rest on that trail. Was like support. They were like totally flat like. But the next day I went to the beach. I soaked my feet. I mean, I blisters on my feet. I went to the beach and he called, like, what are you doing? I said, grand up to the beach. He goes bro He because I got to pass the beach because I paid for the yearly pass. I would have went with you. And I'm like, oh, I didn't know that. And so we started going to the beach together and see little by little because my circle is very very small, me too, who I hang out with, and that's okay, but it's like with him, you know, hang out with him, or I hang out with my business partner Gus and his family. Outside of that, I stopped going to church for different reasons, but you know, because I always see people there. But outside of that, it's like if I meet someone at work or I'm working with an artist or something, that's all I was talking talking to, you know, or a family. It's crazy. So that's why I say that we got to bring out the masses. That's right. There's no way to do life. Life's too short. Yeah, So anyways, what's the email again? Get together in real life that I'm sorry, get together I r L, which stands for in real life get together I r L at gmail dot com. All right, well cool. I think this is a good beta test show. A lot to tune up here. Obviously it's like a free for all, but that's all right. The host, we got to work on the host. We got to work on some attitudes in it. We gotta work about being on time, okay, we got to work about people. Okay, I'm good. I had that diet coke. Look, I'm good, I'm alert. I was. When I say that, I'm joking most people like, man, I got the jackass he is. I'm not. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. Okay, So we're gonna have more lively conversations. I felt like it was good, it was good content. But this is the first one. Once once you get ten minutes into it, everybody's comfortable and everybody's talking, and. You guys got to feel the energy. You know what I'm saying. It's like when you see me like perk up. It means we have to accelerate the gas and we have to bring it in a little bit a little higher. Can we have like an accelerator and breaks like when you just get rolling down the hill and I'm like, he needs to just shut up. Oh you know what, Yeah, funny story from you. When I worked for I'm saying, I don't care at this point, I don't even care. We're finding set. With this thing. Listen, talk about that, listen. I don't care because it's already put out that comedian Dave lendwerd to put it out. But when I worked with Stephen Crowder, uh you know, he's a big YouTuber or whatever, and he had a desk and Dave len Dale set across from Stephen Crowder. He had a light. Stephen Crowd had a light underneath his desk for Dave to shut up, for Dave to show like I'm talking now, don't talk anymore. And Dave's just a quick liner joker, you know yea. And they were good together, yeah, da Dave's is great. Dave's the best. But anyways, I thought of that when you said the light because I'm never that guy. Button here are you? Or you do this right? Yeah? Him? Shot collar. Get to the point, you know what, to get to the point, I'm gonna be edding this tomorrow. I'll make sure I'm gonna give it. I'm gonna do a little clips and goes damn o Brian. Get to the point and you're like, oh, I like, oh my god. I like curls and and and I like sex a lot. And you know, I'm I'm at this thing in life and I just I just like it, you know, I just like it. There, we know you like it already. Yeah, I want to take my life away? What was it like? Yeah? You know I would give up if I couldn't do that. That's basically saying yeah, what are you talking about? You is probably gonna block this content now because that gumment, well, we'll catch you on the next one is this is Jeff Adam Show. I don't know, peace out when Jeff is the prime Ribs Fry